Part of the backyard, taken care of by the gardenerWhile you may be thinking "those lucky missionaries!" and it is nice to have help around the house, there are a thousand potential problems that come with having employees, especially ones from a completely different culture. Let me give you an example:
A few weeks ago, I noticed some logs piled by the road outside my house. I didn't know where they came from and I didn't need them myself, so when someone called to ask if they could have them, I said sure. (I was actually pleasantly surprised that someone asked, because usually if you leave anything (from empty plastic container to wood to shoes) outside it magically disappears within a day or two.)
This morning when my gardener showed up (for the first time after Christmas break) she was very angry with me, because apparently it was her (fire)wood and now it was gone. She told me that she and her kids came one day when I wasn't home and moved the wood from the backyard to along the road. She intended to have a friend with a truck come and pick it up, but never did. She never told me about any of this, so I had no idea.
So, before I tell you what I did, I want to hear some ideas from all of you. What would you do? In a few days, I'll post the exciting conclusion to this problem, but for now, leave a comment with your suggestions.
5 comments:
Well, I'm not sure what would be correct in the PNG culture. But I was thinking about it, and here's my final answer!
I would apologize to her again, and explain that I didn't know it was her firewood. I would gently ask her to tell me the next time, so a similar situation could be avoided. I was considering giving her a little money, but I think that's a bad idea, as she may come to expect it, or take advantage of it. So I think maybe I'd bake her a little something, and not say that it was in return for the wood, but just to smooth the relationship out a little. Who doesn't love baked goods? ;)
Sara,
I've been thinking about this but I haven't come up with anything that would end with an "exciting conclusion". (which is a good thing from a mom's point of view!) I think it would be best not to take responsibility for the missing wood on yourself, since she never talked to you about it. So, I'd think you would be firm about not knowing she wanted the wood and although you are sorry it is gone, it wasn't your fault. I'm thinking this might be especially important in PNG culture, and in this case it is certainly the truth. If she stays angry, it seems a third-party who was not involved could try to talk to her to calm her angry feelings over the matter.
Now, I'll wait and see what really happened!
Love and prayers,
Mom
Good Evening from So.Gibson/ Lenox! First let me say, what a gorgeous "backyard!" Such a lush looking grass. Anyway, I was going to suggest offering to give some money, but Laura has a good slant on that, in light of the culture. Guess an apology, and a firm request that you be advised in the future of things like that is the best idea. Is there any way in this to point to the Savior? Some sort of object lesson? Can't think of any right now. Will be watching to see the outcome. We've had bitterly cold, windy days, with new snow every day for days now- but it blows around a lot. I couldn't get out Sunday, but was able to worship "on-line." That is a great ministry. Have a safe, healthy, blessed New Year. With love - Audrey Costley
Hi, Sara,
You do have some interesting situations there! The first thing that popped into my mind was Christ speaking about not resisting an evil person (in the Sermon on the Mount) and turning the other cheek, offering them your tunic, and walking the extra mile. Maybe in this case, it would consist of explaining the importance of communicating her intentions to her employer. It seems as a native to that culture, she would be aware the wood could disappear after sitting there too long unclaimed. Maybe she would understand you wanting to pass it on to someone in need of it, because you had no need for it yourself and did not know she intended to use it. Matthew 5:44 says to bless those who curse you and to do good to those who hate you and PRAY for those who spitefully use you and persecute you. A wise pastor once told me the first, best thing we can ever do in a questionable situation is pray, which I am sure you have already done. God gives great wisdom to those who ask and I am anxious to hear what He gave you to handle this fix. Praying He uses even this in a great way in your life there to bring others to Himself.
Thankful for you,
Karen H
In our New Milford culture I think I'd explain that to take another person's wood without asking is stealing and then maybe give them some wood if they needed it.
I wait with anticipation to learn what you did!
Pastor T
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